September 13, 2007
My Left Foot... made your Chicken Lo Mein
"Great China Buffet owner Jiang Shu said the worker has been fired over the incident."
Oh, come on. 1) How does the owner not know that this is going on. 2) The man's name is pronounced "shoe"!
Posted by sferrell at 3:52 PM
July 6, 2007
Cloverfield -- J.J. Abrams' latest projectOkay, I have no clue what this movie is about, but the teaser trailer is intense (showing before the Transformers movie). Nobody seems to know anything about this movie other than the code name, "cloverfield."
The viral marketing effort has kicked into high gear and so far I'm loving it. Both of these sites appear to be run by the viral marketing team. The first link offers puzzles and teasers about the storyline, while the second link attempts to discredit the first link.
January 26, 2007
This almost seems like a joke. This site has a video of Windows Vista being demonstrated (it's a Norwegian tech show, I think). All you PC users getting excited? All you Mac enthusiasts saying, "Who gives a F@#$?" Well here's something you'll both love. Check out the screen grab to the left. What kind of computer are they demoing the all mighty Vista on? Hmmm... Let's see...
Yep. It's a Mac. Probably did it out of concerns for stability and security. Smart choice.
Posted by sferrell at 1:55 PM
December 12, 2006
Global Politics in 30 seconds.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Posted by sferrell at 1:28 PM
November 8, 2006
Britney drops the bomb.
At long last, our long national nightmare is over. Britney, why did it take so long.
Best line from the article:
Spears did not seek spousal support but asked for sole custody of her two sons with Federline, one-year-old Sean Preston, and James Jayden, born September 12.
Is that a F@#$ing joke. "She didn't seek spousal support? Gee. Why not?"
Meanwhile, K-Fed was spotted in an alley, squating over a dumpster, trying to squeeze out his new album, "Playing with Fire."
Posted by sferrell at 9:47 AM
November 2, 2006
Abandoned troops in Iraq
So let's spend all our time on Kerry. Meanwhile... what ever happened to that kidnapped US soldier?
What, you don't remember him?
Check it out:
Posted by sferrell at 9:39 AM
October 31, 2006
Who are you, man?!
"Cough...hack...wheeze... I'm Batman, dammit."
Posted by sferrell at 12:27 PM
Look, up in the sky... it's Richard Donner!
I'm looking forward to this. The trend of "director's cuts" lately has been a marketing ploy. Directors shoot and edit the film, then hand it over to the studio with a running time of over 2 hours. The studio understandably cuts 30 minutes or so, then releases the film, and everyone and their mama knows that the missing 30 minutes will be thrown back in for a "director's cut" DVD, which will come out 4 to 6 months after the first DVD release. These "special edition" DVDs are nothing more than a chance to pick your pocket. Very often when you watch the missing scenes you can see why they were cut in the first place.
As a writer I can see how shooting certain scenes can be very useful, practically critical, for the creation of a film. I write lots of scenes in my fiction which end up getting cut. They don't flow, they tread water, or they don't really serve much of a purpose for the reader. But that doesn't mean that they don't serve a valuable purpose for me, the writer. They help me get the voices of my characters, they help me understand some of their motives and biases. Sometimes they give me a quiet moment for the character to reflect on themselves, and when that happens the writing in the rest of the material improves. I know my character and story better as a result. If I didn't push up against the boundaries of my story and the people within it, and if I didn't occasionally push past it, I wouldn't know where those boundaries are at all and my writing would be like a river without a bank--listless, directionless, and stagnant. So, I am all in favor of directors and actors and screenwriters shooting all sorts of scenes, figuring out what they are trying to say, and then cutting them out of the film. Share them on the DVD in the extras section. Or shoot and shoot and shoot, and sometimes you end up with an entire second film, vastly different and separate from the first one you started. While I think that many of the "Director's Cut" DVDs are just a money grab, I don't think that extensive shooting or sharing that footage with viewers is a bad thing. I also don't think that multiple versions of a film are a bad thing--some director's cuts are legitimately different from the released film due to changes made competely outside the director's interest or vision, changes which may in fact drastically change the film.
Superman II - The Richard Donner Cut is in a different class. Donner was pulled off the shoot and replaced. Entire sections of the film were scrapped and the ending altered and reshot. What is being released here is thanks to a re-edit which replaces lost footage, and the ability of modern special effects to step in and bring back a vision that was altered, not just cut. This is not George Lucas adding special effects to STAR WARS and rereleasing the film. It's as if George Lucas had been replaced halfway through "Empire Strikes Back" with another director who removed the scenes with Vader fighting Luke, and now years later Lucas has the opportunity to recreate his film.
And this release goes beyond economics for another reason: Donner had a vision of Superman which was quite strong and resounding. His vision was imitated for the recent "Superman Returns," and he's actually going to be writing one of the Superman comic books for DC. I'd say that this release of Donner's version of "Superman II" is far from a money grab, it may be a return of the real deal.
Posted by sferrell at 10:15 AM
October 26, 2006
Line up to be an idiot.
An Alabama lawmaker has gone to great lengths to prove that he's a fascist. How? He's proposed removing any book from library shelves that includes a gay character, or is by a gay author.
This is one of those "where do you even start" stories:
Republican Alabama lawmaker Gerald Allen says homosexuality is an unacceptable lifestyle. As CBS News Correspondent Mark Strassmann reports, under his bill, public school libraries could no longer buy new copies of plays or books by gay authors, or about gay characters.
"I don't look at it as censorship," says State Representative Gerald Allen. "I look at it as protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children."
First, Mr. Allen may be interested to know the definition of "censorship." Webster's defines it as "the institution, system, or practice of censoring or censors" which is "an official who examines publications for objectionable matter; an official who reads communications and deletes forbidden material." So, in essence Mr. Allen's "protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children" is really a wonderful definition of censorship, not a movement away from it.
Second, Mr. Allen worries about the "gay agenda." He's sees flamboyant threats in books everywhere.
But in book after book, Allen reads what he calls the "homosexual agenda,"
and he's alarmed.
"It's not healthy for America, it doesn't fit what we stand for," says Allen. "And they will do whatever it takes to reach their goal."
Finally, this ass-hat misses the irony of his fight completely when he says "it doesn't fit what [America] stands for." What doesn't? Freedom of choice? Freedom of Speech? Freedom of Ideas? Freedom to be left alone by an invasive, controlling government? Which of these is not what America stands for?
Thankfully, when his bill came up for a vote, the rest of the legislators fled the room allowing it to die as a result of a lack of a quorum.
Posted by sferrell at 2:44 PM
October 19, 2006
Stupidest Contest Ever
Some clown in Milwaukee has admitted that the recent bomb scare at seven NFL stadiums was part of a contest with his friend "as part of an Internet competition with a person in Texas to create the scariest terror scenario possible."
These two guys don't know it, but they were also a taking part in some other contests:
Who can pull the stupidest stunt that might lead to an indictment.
Who can make themselves look like a grade-A moron in front of a national audience.
and the big one...
Who is going to get teased for the rest of their lives for having done something only an idiot would do.
Posted by sferrell at 5:08 PM
August 8, 2006
"Hey... anyone want to talk to Janet Jackson?"
Janet Jackson, seen standing in a park, waiting for random passers to ask, "Hey, Janet, what the hell are you doing out here?"
Posted by sferrell at 11:57 AM
August 2, 2006
The Joke is on Heath Ledger
I'm actually pretty happy with the casting of Heath Ledger as the Joker for the new Batman movie, "The Dark Knight." The Joker is more than just a crazy man with a painted face (a la Cesar Romero's version in the '60s sitcom "Batman"). He's always scariest when he's deep, introspective, and moody. He's flamboyant, to be sure, but anyone can be flamboyant. Flamboyant just makes you pay attention. Once you start paying attention is when you realize that the look in his eyes is what's terrifying. Ledger has enough depth and is clearly an internal actor that will provide the Joker with his real strength, and keep Christian Bale from overwhelming scenes like he did opposite Katie Holmes (watch them closely and you might think the two of them are in different movies).
Posted by sferrell at 10:26 AM
July 30, 2006
South Park right again?
If true, this story about Mel Gibson's horrible reaction to getting pulled over for DUI would be the last in a long line of South Park getting the big picture right while getting the details wrong. Remember their take on Mel Gibson? Running around asking to fight people while badmouthing Jews and rubbing excrement on himself. He hit, according to the original arrest report quoted by TMZ, two out of the three.
Mel. You were so good in Lethal Weapon playing a crazy man. Little did we know you weren't acting.
Sadly, this story is true, and has been confirmed by the LA Times.
This is sad for two reasons. First, Mel Gibson's tirade and anti-semitic remarks are offensive and betray Gibson's claims which he was forced to make when the Passion of the Christ was released. Second, it's sad that the police department which was involved in the arrest felt it necessary to cover up the bad acts. Favoritism only goes one way. If Mel had been poor and unknown they would have happily written up as many details as they liked, but the higher-ups decided that Gibson was worth protecting, and that's sad.
Posted by sferrell at 11:23 AM
May 12, 2006
A Scanner Darkly - Remix edition
Warner Independent Pictures has partnered with RES Magazine on a trailer remix contest that lets fans make their own ASD film trailers. They can submit their trailer to the contest, share with friends, post on their own pages, etc.
The contest winner will receive:
- Two tickets to the films U.S. Premiere (including roundtrip airfare, hotel, and transportation)
- Microsoft Windows 64-bit powered professional video editing workstation with Adobe Production Studio Premium featuring Premiere Pro, After Effects, Photoshop and more.
Runner-up and Audience Award winners will both receive:
- XBOX360 video game consoles
- Adobe Production Studio Standard software
- autographed A Scanner Darkly movie poster.
Check it out http://scanner.res.com
Official movie site: http://www.scannerdarklymovie.com
Posted by sferrell at 7:56 PM
March 4, 2006
Real Life Simpsons Intro
Posted by mferrell at 11:06 AM
February 27, 2006
Frey's book deal dead
Now he's free to find another publisher and write and publish a memoir about writing a memoir and fudging with the details only to be caught and go on national television after gaining huge success and having to explain away the indescrepencies. And if you don't think that he will get another book deal you're not paying attention. Someone will pay him to write a "mea culpa" book about his time caught lying. And what do you bet that his new memoir will claim that he went on "Oprah" to apologize and found Oprah shooting up in the coat closet? Ooops, looks like someones telling stories again!
Posted by sferrell at 12:11 PM
February 24, 2006
The end of the world is here.
News Corp (which is really FOX), which owns WWOR (formerly UPN 9 in New York) and other stations across the country which are NOT currently FOX stations but are UPN stations is planning on unveiling ANOTHER broadcast network. This one looks like a combo of UPN and Univision in that it will have nightly soap operas in the TV novella format. Yes, they will revolve around skin and sex (actresses on the shows appear to mainly be STUFF models like Natalie Martinez and Donna Feldman (see left), both of whom I am sure can act) not that there's anything wrong with that, but it will also bring us FOX NEWS shows and plans to basically show stuff to questionable for FOX.
Our culture just created a giant "flush" sound.
As if my Tivo didn't have enough to record already.
Apparently we've simply given up on "making" anything worth watching, we just want to watch ourselves. And it's not even ourselves that we want to see--it's the vibrant, slithery, sexy, lubed up inner demons we want to see, the slinkier the better. To me this sounds like "America's Next Top Model" with a script. And what could be better television than that?
Posted by sferrell at 10:04 PM
February 21, 2006
TRAILER: A Scanner Darkly
The trailer has just been released. It makes the film look more current and accurate to the book than anything I've seen so far. In short, this should be awesome. Philip K. Dick would be proud. Proud, that is, if this film weren't simply part of the entertainment-military-industrial complex's attempts to obfuscate what is happening by turning it into entertainment, making us revel in our own submission, and tricking us into paying for the oppression under which we squirm.
Scheduled to open: July 7, 2006.
Of course, I'm joking. I think.
Check out the trailer here, it's great:
Posted by sferrell at 3:23 PM
"Did you hear the one about your being fired? Hello? Anyone? Is this thing on?!
President Bush was set to speak to a energy research lab about finding renewable sources of energy, only the White House was concerned there might not be enough people in the audience. To make sure there were more people they REHIRED the 32 people who the administration had previously fired. The firings were blamed on a "mix-up."
I bet it was a great speech.
Posted by sferrell at 2:10 PM
February 16, 2006
Maybe it went to go see "A Scanner Darkly"
Normally this would just be a creepy little tidbit:
What sets this robotic version of A Scanner Darkly author Philip K. Dick apart from other creepy fandom is the fact that this robot has gone missing, apparently for weeks:
Articulate: When good robots go bad. February 14, 2006. ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corp)
My guess is they wanted to drum up some excitement. But who knows? Maybe it got a ticket for an advance screening for ASD?
Posted by sferrell at 12:36 PM
February 14, 2006
Who Says Steve Balmer Doesn't Have Rhythm?
Posted by mferrell at 3:57 PM
February 13, 2006
‘A Scanner Darkly’ Movie Trailer To World Premiere On Amp’d Mobile Handsets
Now you don't have to go to see a movie that sucks, just to see the trailer.
This is pretty cool. For the first time ever, mobile customers in the U.S. get the first look at a feature film trailer before it hits theaters or the web. Warner Independent Pictures will debut its trailer for “A Scanner Darkly” on Amp’d Mobile handsets beginning today.
The trailer premiere will give Amp’d Mobile subscribers an advanced look at this highly anticipated new film starring Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder and Rory Cochrane. “A Scanner Darkly” is set in suburban Orange County, California in a future where America has lost the war on drugs. When one reluctant undercover cop (Reeves) is ordered to start spying on his friends, he is launched on a paranoid journey into the absurd, where identities and loyalties are impossible to decode. It is a cautionary tale of drug use based on the novel by Philip K. Dick.
Found on the Amp’d Live deck as a stand-alone “A Scanner Darkly” entertainment channel, the full-length theatrical trailer will appear on Amp’d Mobile handsets through the film release July 7. As additional promotional mobile content is created for the film it will be added to the channel.
"The audience for films like this is technologically light years ahead of most," said Laura Kim, EVP of marketing and publicity at Warner Independent Pictures. "And if you know anything about 'A Scanner Darkly' and Philip K. Dick, who also wrote Blade Runner, this partnership is a really cool way to let people know about the film."
“We’ve made a commitment to deliver a wide range of exclusive, coveted entertainment video that’s optimized for our broadband wireless service,” said Seth Cummings, senior VP, content and Internet services. “We’re thrilled to be building a relationship with Warner Independent Pictures. We know this film in particular will be intriguing to our members.”
Releasing this summer, “A Scanner Darkly” was written for the screen and directed by Richard Linklater. Like a graphic novel come to life, the film uses live action photography overlaid with an advanced animation process (interpolated rotoscoping) to create a haunting, highly stylized vision of the future. The technology, first employed in Linklater’s 2001 film "Waking Life," has evolved to produce even more emotional impact and detail.
Posted by sferrell at 9:10 AM
January 28, 2006
Scanner Darkly images
Posted by sferrell at 7:39 PM
January 26, 2006
Who wants to die, or go to the potty... or something.
I'm not sure which would bother me more: a muppet concerned with my mortality or a muppet concerned with my bowel habits. They seem about equally troublesome to me.
In any event, the woman who has brainwashed her child to think that Baby David is bad is going off the deep end here. "It was really scary," she said. Scary? Maybe if the book started to bleed.
Posted by sferrell at 12:21 PM
December 16, 2005
First, the good news... no, wait, the bad news... no, the good... wait... huh?
I don't know how I feel about this. A STAR TREK movie based in the Mirror Universe starring three of the captains (Kirk, Picard and Archer)? Why weren't Janeway and Sisko available? Perhaps they saw the handwriting on the wall, or they had to babysit.
Let me just say this: You have to look really hard to find a bigger Trek fan than me. Now let me say this: This movie could be one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. Now... let me finish with this: but it could also work.
I was thrown at the end of the ST: Enterprise run that they did episodes set in the Mirror Universe which sat by themselves, no connection at all to the main mythology, almost like an alternate series (I did enjoy them, especially the recreation of the show's opening titles to reflect the dictatorial/imperialistic attitude of the Mirror Universe's show). More than anything, those episodes, and this rumor of a Mirror Universe film (if true) reveal the reality that the STAR TREK universe has become very stale as a result of such a long history. So much of the reality has been thoroughly developed that there is not much wiggle room. One of the things that allows shows like Law and Order or ER to continue for as long as they have is that they are procedural, not necessarily character driven or dependent upon actual plot (there will always be killers, "Who did it?"; there will always be car accidents, "Will she survive?") Star Trek relies on character development, transformation of humanity into a better society, and the linkages of different cultures into a peaceful environment. In short, Law and Order and ER can continue because they don't have to evolve--STAR TREK, by its very nature, must evolve or reveal a hypocrisy. The fact that the creators may take it into the Mirror Universe exposes this, and shows that without a large number of years between Enterprise and any other possible series, we simply won't have any good stories to tell. The only possible TREK series I could even think of right now would effectively be "Firefly", a show set after the demise of the Federation. And I can't imagine they would undermine 30 years of programming (after all, the death of the Federation would be tantamount to admitting the failure of the entire culture of openness and trust) just to get another four or five years of shows out of the label "Star Trek."
Posted by sferrell at 12:47 PM
December 9, 2005
Cartman... er... Knoxville should be funny in this.
Did you hear about the story of the guy who pretends to be handicapped so that he can get into the Special Olympics and kick ass? Now I know that South Park did it first, but when you have a chance to see someone act like an ass in real life, don't you want it to be Johnny Knoxville? Yeah, I do to.
I just hope that he has a moment where someone asks his name and he says, "Daaar... KNOXVILLE!!!"
Posted by sferrell at 4:03 PM
December 6, 2005
What's that smell?
Oh, it must be the future, demanding to be let in now. This is, of course, the future where you watch TV on your own time, a la carte, for roughly $2 a show. It's the future where you don't really need to get cable (once the quality goes up to TV quality downloads) because you only really want to watch this or that show. It's the future where cable steps back into the shadows, free transmitted television begins to dry up or become like the free daily papers you see handed out for free on New York City Streets everymorning (all ads, with tiny tiny little news stories like "Prez. Bush Did Something Today"). It's the future where you purchase what you want, not what they think you want. It's the future where experimentation is gone. It's the future where viral marketing will be how pilots are used, and only the most popular will be picked up for production. It's the future where people will begin to create their own television series in their basements and use "self-publishing" formats on TV.
It's the future, and it will be televised.
Posted by sferrell at 3:46 PM
November 30, 2005
The Shockey Face
While watching the NY Giants lose their game against the Seahawks on Sunday due to three missed field goals I laughed, and laughed deeply when Jeremy Shockey, confident that the second kick was good pointed arrogantly and clownishly at the camera only to slowly (sloooowly) realize that the kick had missed. His head turns, his eyes grow large, and his mouth drops open, but his hands, controlled perhaps by some other brain in his body, continue to point triumphantly at the camera.
As I said, I laughed.
Then I realized that I would never, ever see that face again, and I became... well, a little sad.
Now, through the magic of the internet, I give you that face:Simply Shockeyed.
Posted by sferrell at 3:37 PM
November 23, 2005
It's not a bad tree. It just needs a little love.
Posted by sferrell at 9:36 AM
November 22, 2005
Earlier today, Steve Jobs was excited to announce his newest iProduct: the iPuggle.
A combination iPod MP3 music player, and a hybrid Puggle puppy (Beagle and Pug combo) it's two great items in one.
"This will be the first MP3 player that will allow you to take your entire music library with you, download content off the internet, and roll over and beg on command. It represents the urban-chic lifestyle that today's consumers want to show off, and it's almost housebroken."
Apple, you've shown us the way... again.
Check him out.
Posted by sferrell at 4:24 PM
November 2, 2005
New short story
I've got a new story up online in issue #16 of Cafe Irreal.
Posted by sferrell at 7:15 AM
October 27, 2005
Once more, with feeling.
Quite possibly the greatest commercial ever made.
Posted by sferrell at 10:08 AM
October 26, 2005
White House Official: "We enjoy the funny. No... Seriously, we do. Ha. See? Ha ha."
There's something so pathetic about people with rod's up their @$$holes trying to claim that they love a good joke.
[White House Spokesman Trent] Duffy said while he does not personally read The Onion, he admitted knowing others in the White House who do. "Like everyone else, we like a good laugh."
Shut up, you do not.
Posted by sferrell at 9:52 AM
September 23, 2005
Fraggle Rock Movie
I saw this. It was called "Farscape."
Posted by sferrell at 3:54 PM
August 4, 2005
My coffee is cold... let's go to war.
The Army has been developing a new... um... "crowd control tool," also known as a big-ass microwave oven on the back of a jeep. How could this possibly cause permanent damage? Numbmonkey and Toyman discussed the likely uses of this grand weapon of the Empire.
Numbmonkey: Of course it won't cause any permanent injury--how could it? It looks like one of the dish weapons from Empire Strikes Back.
Toyman: It's only MICROWAVING YOU. I'd like to see the testing of that weapon.
Numbmonkey: "We wanted to be certain we knew where the enemy was, and if they were holding any of "Newman's Own Microwavable Butter-Top Popcorn... So..."
Toyman: "I'm not getting in front of it. You get in front!"
Numbmonkey: "Hey sarge... you hear that... sounds like... "
"That's right, private... popcorn... Al Qaida style!"
I also like how aerodynamic that jeep in the second picture looks with that dish on top. "We're too far away to use the weapon!! hurry up!!"
Toyman: It can probably go from 0 to 60 in 20 minutes.
Numbmonkey: "I'm going as fast as I can!!"
From what I've read the early version of this was a Sanyo microwave with a screwdriver stuck in the door latch to make it think the door was closed.
And, so far this weapon has worked well, but the Army discovered one problem: if they run the giant "toaster jeep" at the same time, they blow a fuse.
Late breaking news: Research has begun on the Death Star, to be renamed "Cheney's Wrath."
Posted by sferrell at 12:22 PM
July 12, 2005
Up, up, and... yeah, I would like to "supersize" that.
Posted by sferrell at 10:30 AM
June 26, 2005
The best part is the headline
Maybe they were going for a phonetic attention grabber, to make it seem like Inspector Cluseau was saying it.
Third of Canadians belive 'da Vinci Code'
June 26, 2005 2:11 PM EDT
TORONTO, Ontario, Cape Verde, Jun 26, 2005 (United Press International via COMTEX) -- One in three Canadians, who have read the novel "The Da Vinci Code," believe there are descendants of Jesus alive today, a survey found.
They also believe a secret society exists dedicated to keeping Jesus' bloodline a secret, according to a National Geographic Channel poll.
The survey, conducted by Decima Research Inc., of 1,005 Canadian adults was commissioned by cable's National Geographic Channel.
"Dan Brown's thriller was such a phenomenal success because readers felt they were being let in on an explosive historical secret," said Vanessa Case, vice president of programming of National Geographic Channel and Life Network. "It is obvious that 'The Da Vinci Code' has had a huge impact on Canadians and their beliefs."
Nearly one in five Canadians have read "The Da Vinci Code."
Copyright 2005 by United Press International
I also find it amazing that one in five Canadians has read this book. I hope to God (and His living descendants) that there are fewer Canadians than I think there are.
Posted by sferrell at 6:24 PM
A salute to love
Brooklyn pays homage to true love. You may laugh, but you'll still cry later, when you're alone with just you... and you.
Posted by sferrell at 5:34 PM
June 24, 2005
Tom and his daughter look very happy
Uh, wait. Yuck.
The best part of the article below is how Tom Cruise reveals that not only should he be on Ritalin, but that he's researched it so thoroughly. I truly believe that he's taken the time to read the research. After all, he is the guy who found God in a sci-fi writer.
Posted by sferrell at 3:18 PM
May 9, 2005
Great (A.O.) Scott!!
It's worth registering with the New York Times in order to read A.O. Scott's essay on what comic book heros' status is today in both movies, and our culture at large. Interesting stuff.
Posted by sferrell at 1:28 PM
May 7, 2005
Seems like the fellows at www.epicmania.com are onto something. There's a definite trend lately returning to films with a scope beyond just a few main characters. Epicmania, in their own words:
"...Epicmania is geared toward "epic" movies. You know,
Gladiator, Kingdom of Heaven, Lord of the Rings, etc. The site is
called Epic Mania (www.epicmania.com) and I believe it's the first of its kind (similar to SuperHeroHype.com for comic book movies, Epic Mania
is aiming to be "the place" for epics)."
Cool stuff. Definitely worth checking out.
Posted by sferrell at 5:06 PM
April 30, 2005
CSI Files breaks the case!!
CSI Files has a write-up on the season finale of CSI, directed and written by Quentin Tarantino. It is a plot summary, so don't be surprised if you know who-dunnit after reading it.
Thanks to Christian at CSIFiles for the heads-up.
April 25, 2005
At long last, someone on the Supreme Court who believes in what I believe in!! Pocket Judge(TM) is the only way to make sure my special interests get rammed down YOUR throats. I'm getting one... heck! I'll get two!!
Posted by sferrell at 4:21 PM
April 17, 2005
How me talk?
Your Linguistic Profile:
|65% General American English|
|0% Upper Midwestern|
Posted by sferrell at 5:26 PM
April 6, 2005
Bay to direct "Transformers"
According to this article Michael Bay may direct the "Transformers."
Posted by sferrell at 1:32 PM
March 18, 2005
Joss Whedon, meet Linda Carter
According to this, Joss Whedon's signed to write and direct a Wonder Woman movie. I imagine it will be great--essentially he did a "wonder woman" story for seven years with Buffy.
March 15, 2005
This is cool. Graffiti artists playing with light in three dimensions. Pretty amazing.
Posted by sferrell at 2:26 PM
Batman: New Times
An all star (*cough*) cast provides voices for Batman: New Times, a Lego style CGI adventure.
Posted by sferrell at 2:21 PM
March 12, 2005
an alternate take on "A Scanner Darkly"
Head over to www.rustmonkey.com (no relation) and check out their trailer for a proposed animated version of A Scanner Darkly. The image to the left is Jerry Fabin's new "older brother", the giant aphid which is going to live up to his parents dreams. Nice tone, good animation, and very well executed. Makes me think this is what David Lynch would have done with the story. These guys should do a short based on one of Dick's other stories.
Posted by sferrell at 4:01 PM
March 9, 2005
Now you can't have any dessert.
I love this story. Harvard, MIT and other schools gave blanket rejections to anyone who used a simple "backdoor" to take a sneak peak at their admission/rejection status, and now those rejected are crying foul. The sense of entitlement is astounding. That these students (or potential students) can split hairs to say that what they did is not "unethical" shows why companies like ENRON do the things they do.
Imagine you go to someone's house and you are told by the owner, "Tomorrow someone will come out here and get you, and you can then come in and have some cake." After the owner goes back inside and locks the door someone else walks up the block and points out that the upstairs window has been left open. "You could go in and have some cake now," this person says. Do you really need to be told that sneaking in the window is wrong? And, if you do it anyway, do you cry "no fair" when you get caught.
Posted by sferrell at 2:57 PM
Check out the OFFICIAL U.S. Time. This is the government clock, people, we're not kidding around here.
(Please note, my favorite part of the clock is the description next to the map explaining what the "light" and "dark" areas of the map represent.)
March 3, 2005
Why is Teddy following me, Mommy?
Let the robot carnage begin!! Now that we can rely on our toys to take care of our children, it will allow us adults to play with more of our toys... which will be watching us! FANTASTIC!
Posted by sferrell at 10:07 AM
March 2, 2005
"House of Wax"
One of these actors needed less work than the others looking like a stiff, wax-like figure. Can you guess who? Clue: Her name rhymes with Haris Pilton. Seriously, watch the trailer and see if you can get past either of the two words that Paris says without laughing. Does she know she's acting?
And what about Elisha Cuthbert... sigh... some girls are born to play the "girl who is forever running from mad killers." Good thing she's not getting typecast.
(Side note: I realize that the days of wondering if Hollywood planned on remaking everything are long, long gone. Asking the question has become as cliched as making the remakes. But when did taking a good, classic, creep-fest starring Vincent Price and turning it into another Texas Chainsaw rip-off become acceptable? At this rate we'll soon have "Gone with the Wind" featuring the trailer ending with Scarlet hiding from Rhett in a barn loft while she tries, unsuccessfully, to stifle her heavy, panicky breathing.)
Posted by sferrell at 10:21 PM
February 24, 2005
This will either be really, really good, or it will suck hard. Quentin is going to direct the season finale of CSI. Too bad he's not directing CSI: Miami. Then he could try to reign in David Caruso.
February 22, 2005
"Arrested Development" Bubble-watch, Year 2
So it begins... again...
Arrested Development's shooting has been shut down, in what looks like the death rattle for the show:
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- "Arrested Development" star Jason Bateman and the sitcom's creator, Mitchell Hurwitz, were assessing the cuddle quotient in a show that viewers may soon lose the chance to embrace.
"There are a surprising number of hugs in the show. We just make jokes about how they (the characters) never hug," said Hurwitz. "So even when Michael's mother hugs him, he says, 'What are you doing? Why are you squeezing me with your body?' "
Bateman, who stars as Michael in the acerbic Fox comedy about the dysfunctional Bluth family, offers a solution: "You've got the Pax network if you want a good hug."
But he and the rest of the "Arrested Development" clan might be in need of comfort: Fox is halting production after 18 episodes, shy of the usual 22, bringing the season -- and maybe the series -- to a premature end April 17.
Let the "save the show" extravaganza begin. My suggestion: give up on FOX. Start hitting WB right now to pick it up. They gave a pretty good run to "Grounded for Life" and AD would certainly keep the 6 million views that it has now.
Anyone have the address for WB on hand?
Posted by sferrell at 3:59 PM
February 18, 2005
That's all folks
I pretty much don't know what to say about this other than it appears to be official: WB is run by Satan.
Who are they re-imagining the Warner Bros. cartoon characters for? Kids? They don't know these characters. Parents? They either (a)don't watch cartoons; or (b) want the cartoons to look like the ones they had as kids. What was the motivation here. (Yes, I know... $$$.) But really, how is this better than just creating a new set of characters? The "descendants" of Bugs, Daffy, etc... does WB know that they are allowed to hire writers to create new characters? Or am I wrong? Are Samurai Jack, Power Puff Girls, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force all descendants of cartoon characters my father forgot to tell me about?
Posted by sferrell at 9:28 AM
February 17, 2005
Sons of Sports Guy
Does the Sports Gal know? Is there child support involved? Does ANYBODY at SofSG have Photoshop skills? Given the looks of the site (see the image to the left)... no. Seriously though, it's fun to be able to cruise around a forum discussing Mr. Simmons' site (too bad ESPN didn't realize that people actually do stuff like that).
And, 179 registered users can't be wrong.
I've said it before, I'll say it again: how long till ABC premiere's Bill Simmons' pilot? What will it be called...
Everybody Loves SportsGuy
I Love SportsGuy
The SportsGuy Show
The Facts of SportsGuy
The Beverly SportsGuy (current favorite)
Dick Van SportsGuy
That SportsGuy Show
King of SportsGuy (SportsGuy of Queens also acceptable)
SportsGuy in Charge
Who's the SportsGuy?
My Two SportsGuys
My Three SportsGuys
All in the SportsGuy
Joni (Hearts) SportsGuy
Welcome Back SportsGuy
WKRSportsGuy in Cincinati
Posted by sferrell at 10:41 PM
February 16, 2005
"Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" trailer
I don't know if it's safe to be as excited as I am by this trailer. I need to lie down.
Posted by sferrell at 9:32 PM
February 8, 2005
Little House on the P-huhwha?!?!
Lil' Melissa Gilbert is all grown up. Now she needs to cover up.
Posted by sferrell at 9:24 PM
February 5, 2005
movie: "Kung Fu Hustle"
I don't think I've ever seen a movie that looks quite like this one. Could be pretty funny. KUNG FU HUSTLE looks like a parody and homage to almost every genre of film, including Tex Avery Cartoons and musicals.
Posted by sferrell at 10:10 AM
February 4, 2005
This martial arts film looks fantastic. ONG-BAK is introducing us to a new action star. Luc Besson apparently saw this movie, loved it, bought the rights, re-edited and is releasing it world-wide.
Posted by sferrell at 11:30 AM
February 2, 2005
US Doll Captured in Iraq?
So, in the horrors of war there's some mischief. Perhaps. You make the call. Yahoo News has been running the photo to the left as part of a story on a possible US soldier captured by Iraqis. This is, sadly, the sort of story we're seeing a lot of.
However, is it possible that what Yahoo is running is the capture of a US doll? You make the call. This is the image of the doll from a seller's website. Below are links to both the Yahoo story and the seller's site.
Sad to think that neither our troops or our toys may be safe.
Posted by sferrell at 12:14 PM
January 27, 2005
Seemed appropriate given that it was 9 degrees fahrenheit when I walked the dog this morning.
Posted by sferrell at 10:27 AM
January 26, 2005
"Tim Burton's Corpse Bride"
Tim Burton's next film looks fun. No surprises on the cast (Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter... does Tim Burton know any other people?), but still, who doesn't like to see corpses get married?
Posted by sferrell at 1:23 PM
January 25, 2005
Robotic soldiers prepped by Pentagon
The Pentagon is getting ready for robotic soldiers in Iraq. This is all well and good until Skynet decides that we're the problem and then turns on us.
"Paging Mr. Conner, Mr. John Conner."
January 21, 2005
Where to begin?
For the curious, here's what her tee-shirt says in the image above.
"Luke, I am your side dish (hiss, whir, hiss whir)."
In the words of one wiser than me: "Okay, they'll make anything. It's official now."
This kind of changes the tone of the films a bit:
"Luke... Obi Wan never told you what happened to your french fries."
"He told me enough! He told me you ate them!"
"No... I... am your french fries."
"No!! That's not true!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!"
Posted by sferrell at 2:50 PM
Wookies Packing Heat
Finally, a way to make sure my wife and I are safe as we walk the streets of NYC.
Posted by sferrell at 12:53 PM
January 20, 2005
Barret Robbins' Hulk Imitation
This is, sadly, like something from a horror movie or comic book. Barret Robbins, the center who skipped out on the Raiders SuperBowl matchup against the T.B. Bucs in 2003, was arrested for attempted felony murder.
From the article:
Robbins, 31, of Englewood, Colo., growled, snarled and "was heard laughing throughout the attack," the report said.
According to the report, Robbins beat Officer Colin Pfrogner to the floor, picked up Detective Mark Schoenfeld and slammed him into one wall and then another, then grabbed Detective Mike Muley by the face and rammed his head into a corner.
Robbins then grabbed Muley's forearms, and Muley shot Robbins twice in the torso, the report said. The former player dropped to his knees, grabbed his chest, snarled and growled again, swore at the officers and slapped Muley's gun out of his hand
I don't know, but given his history of mental disorders, does "not guilty by reason of mental defect" seem all that far fetched?
Posted by sferrell at 12:26 PM
January 18, 2005
Bush suggests new jury system
Based upon the quotes in this Washington Post article personal culpability for actions can now be based on a simple majority vote!
" President Bush said the public's decision to reelect him was a ratification of his approach toward Iraq and that there was no reason to hold any administration officials accountable for mistakes or misjudgments in prewar planning or managing the violent aftermath.
"We had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004 elections," Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post. "The American people listened to different assessments made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, and chose me." "
Based on this reasoning all we need to do is have twelve jurors listen to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and then vote. Majority rules. What if it's a six-six tie? Well, that's just democracy in action.
Posted by sferrell at 5:10 PM
January 14, 2005
From the first paragraph: "For the last 12 years, a single solitary whale whose vocalizations match no known living species has been tracked across the Northeast Pacific."
What do you think it would take to actually find this thing? Maybe play it's own song back to it?
January 12, 2005
See, now you're helping me.
For years Apple has been trying to kill me. Finally, they realize the error of their ways and are doing something to make me happy.
Posted by sferrell at 10:42 AM
January 6, 2005
Numbmonkey's new mascot.
Look!! A monkey!!
December 30, 2004
How to help the tsunami victims
What can you do? Read below, from NY1:
""Search and rescue teams have left from Los Angeles and from Fairfax County, Virginia, to assist in rescue efforts," said [Secretary of State] Powell. "We're beefing up our disaster relief teams in the region, making assessment. We're also reaching out to fellow Americans to make a contribution. Americans are a very generous people and we hope they will go to our website, www.state.gov or www.usaid.gov and from there they can learn about agencies that are collecting money that will be used for the relief effort."
We quibble, and bicker and complain. We're allowed to quibble, bicker and complain and so we shouldn't feel guilty about doing so. We should, however, try to pay just a little bit of attention to what's going on outside our private little worlds. If we do we'll be better for it, and better able to help others when the time comes.
[Follow up: I can tell you from having just checked out the two sites referred to above that the USAID site is more helpful and provides information on making donations. The other site primarily provides information about the US response to the crisis.]
Posted by sferrell at 5:12 PM
December 29, 2004
South East Asia's Tragic Earthquake
Better late than never: Bush: Nations Form Asian Relief Coalition - EarthLink - U.S. News
I encourage everyone to try and scrape together some sort of contribution and head over the the Red Cross. Good thoughts and prayers couldn't hurt either.
Posted by sferrell at 4:41 PM
December 23, 2004
"Problem is, you see, when it's time for people hurl criticism at their leaders, they have to hurl it at the leaders they've got. And, you're the leader we've got, so..."
December 21, 2004
"Sin City" trailer
Posted by sferrell at 9:24 PM
Ho, Ho, Hoaaah!!!!
Who doesn't want a little Xmas terror in their lives. These kids, that's who.Scared of Santa photo gallery
"I'll take spelling mistakes for $1000, Alex"
Posted by sferrell at 5:04 PM
December 16, 2004
How are Gary Coleman and Mark Hammil connected?
I still can't believe that the linkage is through Joey Lauren Adams.
Posted by sferrell at 6:26 PM
December 14, 2004
Madame Tussauds's going to hell?
December 2, 2004
I find that Spongebob Squarepants deflates pretty easily, but re-inflating is a bitch. And boy does he ever fill up a tub!
Posted by sferrell at 4:22 PM
November 30, 2004
credit where credit is due...
This "New Yorker" story is a fascinating article about the nature of plagiarism. Did the Beastie Boys do wrong with that flute track? What about the coincidence in a news report and a play? Fine lines all around.
Posted by sferrell at 6:41 PM
November 16, 2004
Good news for Artoonic
Here we are back to you with the latest news about ARTOONIC.
The production of the TV series 13x5' HAS STARTED!!! We have reached a co-production agreement with RAI and Paprikaas Animation Studios. The series will be completed by the end of May 2005.
Don't hesitate to contact us for any further news at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Alfio Balsamo - Producer
Posted by sferrell at 4:24 PM
November 15, 2004
Posted by sferrell at 10:13 PM
November 10, 2004
Why, oh why, oh why-o, did I ever vote in Ohio?
Some really weird stuff happening with the votes in Ohio. Keith Olbermann has a good run-down of shennanegans on his blog.
Posted by sferrell at 3:23 PM
November 7, 2004
again with the "landslide victory?"
Republicans continue to talk about the election in terms of a mandate, landslide, etc.... but how close was this election? Take a look at the results if only 136,484 Ohio residents had voted for Kerry:
2004 Election Results:
59,287,808 for Bush (51% of the vote): 254 Electoral College Votes
56,041,503 for Kerry (48% of the popular vote): 272 Electoral College Votes
As you can see, if this small number of voters in Ohio had gone the other way we'd have President-Elect Kerry. Also note that both candidates receive the same percentage of the popular vote. A landslide would mean an impossible number of voters would have had to change their mind. Given the total number of voters in this election 136,484 doesn't seem like an incredibly high number. For the curious it is 0.11834285561629688397254016370565% of the vote (only counting the Bush and Kerry voters; it's even lower if you count all the votes for Nader and other third party-ers).
Posted by sferrell at 4:58 PM
November 5, 2004
Bush's "Broad" Victory??
President Bush said on November 3rd that, "We've worked hard and gained many new friends, and the result is now clear -- a record voter turnout and a broad, nationwide victory." I'm sorry, but not quite. His habit of redefining reality through his language continues right off the bat, despite the fact that this election was chosen by a difference of 3% of the popular vote, after a day long process of measuring the vote in Ohio. That's not broad. It's the narrowest of margins.
What does a broad victory look like? In 1964 Barry Goldwater could tell you. He was hammered in the nation's election of LBJ. He earned all of 52 electoral votes. He lagged behind by almost 16 million votes, getting only 38% of the popular vote. Broad victory is McGovern losing to Nixon in 1972 with only 17 electoral votes (37% of the popular vote; 17,999,528 votes behind Nixon).
Bush's sqweaky win, with only 3,569,734 more votes than Kerry (a 3% difference; only 22 electoral votes ahead) isn't a "broad victory." It's not a mandate. What is it? It is a sign that the country is as divided now as it was in 2000, it's a sign that there's much work to be done to bring us together, and Bush's language is a sign that he's still not the man to do that.
"Broad victory" indeed.
Posted by sferrell at 3:03 PM
October 25, 2004
Here is a thoroughly condescending CNN article about comics to film projects. There's not really much new here, except for a possible resurrection of an often shelved Superman project. What I find remarkable is that the writer of the article gives a tone of "silly, ain't it" even while talking about the astounding amount of money these projects make.
Why point out that it's unlikely that any awards will come for the filmmakers of "Batman Begins" just a few short weeks after Johnny Depp appeared at the Oscars for his nomination for best actor playing a pirate in a movie based on a Disney theme park ride? The tone is utterly snobbish.
Posted by mferrell at 5:33 PM
"A Series of Unfortunate..."
There's a series of young adult's novels called A Series of Unfortunate Events and it's being filmed for a theatrical release in December. Should be interesting. The series follows three orphans (the first book includes the death of the parents, so this is a Grimm's Fairy Tale sort of series; dark, forboding, pretty creepy) and the movie has a great cast. While I haven't seen a Jim Carrey movie in years (because I think he's somehow become a parody of what an actor is supposed to do) I think I'll take a look at this when it comes out.
Posted by mferrell at 5:32 PM