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August 4, 2005
My coffee is cold... let's go to war.
The Army has been developing a new... um... "crowd control tool," also known as a big-ass microwave oven on the back of a jeep. How could this possibly cause permanent damage? Numbmonkey and Toyman discussed the likely uses of this grand weapon of the Empire.
Numbmonkey: Of course it won't cause any permanent injury--how could it? It looks like one of the dish weapons from Empire Strikes Back.
Toyman: It's only MICROWAVING YOU. I'd like to see the testing of that weapon.
Numbmonkey: "We wanted to be certain we knew where the enemy was, and if they were holding any of "Newman's Own Microwavable Butter-Top Popcorn... So..."
Toyman: "I'm not getting in front of it. You get in front!"
Numbmonkey: "Hey sarge... you hear that... sounds like... "
"That's right, private... popcorn... Al Qaida style!"
I also like how aerodynamic that jeep in the second picture looks with that dish on top. "We're too far away to use the weapon!! hurry up!!"
Toyman: It can probably go from 0 to 60 in 20 minutes.
Numbmonkey: "I'm going as fast as I can!!"
From what I've read the early version of this was a Sanyo microwave with a screwdriver stuck in the door latch to make it think the door was closed.
And, so far this weapon has worked well, but the Army discovered one problem: if they run the giant "toaster jeep" at the same time, they blow a fuse.
Photos: Researchers cook up microwave weapon | CNET News.com
Late breaking news: Research has begun on the Death Star, to be renamed "Cheney's Wrath."
Posted by sferrell at August 4, 2005 12:22 PM
